Giving my child back to God



Co parenting is hard. Not all the time but it takes work raising a child in two different households. It wasn’t meant to be like this. God intended on parents being married. Then multiplying.
Me, a rebel decided to do it my way. Now look, I’m in this weird co-parenting thing with my ex and his new bride who happens to be my new found cousin. I feel like we became instant hillbillies or at least qualified candidates for the Jerry Springer show. My baby daddy is now my cousin. Not a good look either way. It’s still gonna take some time to get used to. But, I suppose love is love, right?

What is bothering me this second is the fact that she’s urged to call HER mom. Every fiber in my being wants to lash out but for my daughter’s sake I’m being calm.
But I literally want to throw a tantrum.
Then the question Why? Pops into my head. Of course I have at least 11 yrs of reasons but I remember when she was my tiny Tinkerbell I gave her back to the Lord.
At the time I was young and ignorant to what that meant . I was her MOMMY. No other woman could claim that. I carried her. I wept when she fell ill and landed in Nicu. She was mine. Dad had claim to her as well but I had the majority. I put in the most work. But God has gently reminded me that she was a gift that I should cherish of course but also one whom I promised to dedicate back to God. Children are not ours to keep, but ours to develop for God’s glory.
In surrendering a child to God’s purposes, the humble parent bows not in an admission of defeat but, like Hannah, in an act of worship.
I KNEW I would have special children and they would need to be surrendered to God.
Sooooooooooo, my anger and irritation has subsided and I realize that it does fact take a village to raise a child. And no matter what she may call anyone else, it doesn’t diminish my title. I’m the original. And I’m ok with that. I’m glad I have the opportunity to worship God by submerging her in Him and I get front row seats to the awesomeness that he’s preparing inside of her. Our little family dynamic may not be ideal or normal, but normal is boring. And THIS family is anything but.

** side note I have no ill feelings towards my cousin or my daughter’s father. It, their relationship, wasn’t done maliciously. They are in LOVE and happily married. **
~ she is a very blessed little girl to have SO many people who love her~


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